#1-No one would ever see it because you haven't seen or heard from a parent since......well never.
#2-A few parents would read it, accept it and grow from this (this is not the norm).
#3-A parent would see this, contact all other classroom parents, create a picket line outside of your classroom door, tell the principal, and promptly ask for their child to be moved from your classroom.
I'm not going to tell you what kind of school I am at, but any one of these scenarios could cause problems. So my question goes out to all viewers as I continue to think of this in terms of my own classroom. I think I have worked in schools that would have parents from all three scenarios. As much as I hated being part of scenario #1, I also liked the freedom to be in my classroom and not worry about "pleasing parents". Last year, I was at a new charter school in a very tight knit community. I was worried because our school requires that each parent earn 30 hours of volunteer hours. Well, this was beyond my scope because I personally do not need parents in the classroom and often prefer not to have parents in the classroom for many reasons. One of the main reasons is that I notice that when parents are in the classroom a lot, a bit of your power leaves the door-if the parent is "THAT" parent. I like students to know that this is my house and we are one family. If little Johnny's mom comes in, I don't want him wandering out of his desk asking his mom to sharpen his pencil or use the restroom. So how do you deal?
If you are in a school without parent involvement, you do not need to worry about too much involvement. You want parents in and you want parents to be a part of the school process not only to show their child that you are both on the same page, but because it could be hard to wrangle students in this setting. One way to get parents involved is to BRAG, BRAG, BRAG. Schools in these school settings have little to no parent involvement, so why not change the status quo of calling when a student is in trouble? Call just because the student did something good that day. You can also write a note about something the child did. We all know there are those students that can make it hard to write a positive every day, but when that shining star had an awesome morning, or did ONE amazing thing, praise the crap out of them! This is how you build parent relationships. We are always on the defense when working in these communities and remember that just because a parent is not present in the classroom, it doesn't mean that they value education any less for their angels.
Now, the parents we REALLY want to tackle are those "helicopter parents". What do you do when you have parents that want to know their child's every move? What do you do when you have parent that wants to "observe" or volunteer your classroom? The best thing you can do is SET BOUNDARIES. This is so important. Here are my tips for those really good but sometimes overly helpful parents....
1. Don't shut them out: I have a love/hate relationship with allowing other people in my classroom. It can be parents, administrators, guest speakers, or other teachers. I like being in the grind with my students every day and so allowing parents to be involved can be an extra layer in the classroom. However, you NEED your parents. In the past, I have made my classroom a closed classroom in which parents were not rejected, but they were not welcome just to pop up whenever they wanted to. This bit me in the butt big time. When I needed something for the classroom-from glue sticks to paper, I got nothing. When I needed parent chaperones for field trips-I got nothing and I really couldn't even be mad about it, because this was the dynamic I had set up. Now, I welcome parents into the classroom, especially in my parent letters, open house meetings, and meet/greets, and I communicate ALL THE TIME. I send a weekly email to my parents about what we have done in the classroom, what we need, and where we are going. Some parents felt the emails were long some weeks but I never once got a complaint that a parent did not know what was happening in my classroom. I also had the support when I needed it. If I needed a volunteer, I had to turn parents away, if I needed a donation for something my parents were right there. It was beyond rewarding for me to be open to parents.
2. Communicate: I've mentioned this and I continue to mention this because it is so important. Parents have to know what is happening in your classroom whether you had the most amazing week, or a pretty standard week. I work to make sure my parents hear from me. Parents receive the following communication:
- Weekly Email: Talk about the week, upcoming projects, and other big things happening in and around school.
- Homework note: Homework is important practice in my opinion. My thoughts on homework have changed throughout the years but that is a different blog. When a student does not complete their homework, I send a note home to parents that must be signed. I stayed consistent with this throughout the year-sooner or later a parent will be tired of receiving these notes and work to make sure their child is getting their homework done.
- Tuesday Folders: I try to make ways to communicate with parents that does not take any time out of their day. Every Tuesday, I send home papers that must be reviewed. These are in-class assignments, tests, and notes from me. Students with a grade of D or F must have the paper signed by an adult.
- Agenda Notes: I always make notes in agendas for my students. It can be a smiley face, happy birthday, good luck on your game, or anything that is a relevant connection. Parents will see this because I require parents to sign the agenda each night but I am showing concern with the student and the parent sees this as well.
3. Create a volunteer sheet: There are ton of volunteer survey sheets on Teachers Pay Teachers and Pinterest. Send one out at the beginning of the year so that parents can check what they want to volunteer in. Then let parents know that as opportunities arise, you will reach out. This does not shut parents out but also lets them know, you do not need a line outside of your door every morning waiting for volunteer opportunities. Then, actually refer to the list. Inevitably you will find parents you have a better click with and can do the jobs you request but it is important to spread the love. In this instance, it is also personal preference if you decide you want a "room mom" or not-this will allow a mom to be in your room a lot.
Bottom line, parents are your friends. Play nice with the parents and they will spoil you and do what you need them to do. Shut them out and you're looking for a year of complaints, emails, and other hassles. Create concrete communication and set boundaries with the parents :-)
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